The Adventures of Kana in Konohana Village
by thegreatesper
Summary: Kana loves horses. Horses mean everything to him. Kana doesn't know, however, that not everyone will accept his horse love. But why should Kana care? From blessing a horse to praying for the Horse God to horse contests, this is The Adventures of Kana in Konohana Village. Rated T for a reason
1. Chapter One: HORSE

GUESS WHAT EVERYONE?! IM BACK AGAIN WITH A NEW STORY CALLED THE ADVENTURES OF KANA IN KONOHANA VILLAGE HAVE FUN READING THIS  
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THE ADVENTURES OF KANA IN KONOHANA VILLAGE

THE AMAZING CAST OF CHARACTERS:

Kana (dude who's obessed with horses, runs a pet shop, friends with Lillian, and Phillip)

Hiro (youngish looking doctor dude who worries about EVERYTHING! Friends with Lillian, and Phillip)

Dirk (some random kid who likes to deliver newspapers, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Reina (girl who likes to KILL FLOWERZ!11! for the sake of science n stuff, kinda antisocial, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Nori (happy girl who likes to sew clothes, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Alisa (extremely religious girl, possibly insane, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

"The Oracle" (strange girl who does some sort of potion stuff, friends with Lillian and Phillip (omg why is everyone friends with Lillian and Phillip))

Mikhail (dude who plays the violin, obessed with finding music in EVERYTHING, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Cam (shy flower dude, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Ash (eager farmer dude, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Georgia (nice girl, likes horses but nowhere near as obessed as Kana, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Laney (girl who cooks and says nearly nothing outside of some stupid advertising for the cooking place she lives at, friends with Lillian and Phillip)

Lillian (farmer girl who lives in Bluebell and travels to Konohana a lot, not very smart, friends with EVERYONE)

Phillip (farmer boy who lives in Konohana and travels to Bluebell a lot, athletic, friends with EVERYONE)

CHAPTER ONE: HORSE

Kana is a young man who likes horses.

No, he loves horses.

You see, Kana lives for horses. He thinks, sleeps, and awakes because of horses. When he thinks of something, he tries to connect it to horses. He must always sleep with a horse stuffed animal because horses. Horses are his life and his life are horses. His religion? Horseology. The books that he reads? They all have to do with horses. What about what Kana does online? He ships his horses and writes fanfics about them. His shirts? They all have horses on them. What about his love life? He wants to marry someone with a passion for horses, too, and will name his child Horse in honor of the amazing creatures. HORSE IS LOVE HORSE IS LIFE YOU MUST UNDERSTAND THIS IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND KANA

"SUP KANA WANNA GO PLAY OUTSIDE TODAY?!" asked Hiro as he barged into Kana's house.

"Horse," said Kana.

"Please don't do this to me, Kana," begged Hiro.

"Okay, fine. I'll go play with you." Kana grabbed the ball he used for his pets (the ball has a horse on it btw) and went outside with Hiro. He passed the ball towards Hiro. He went to catch it, when he ran into Lillian.

"Oh! Sorry Lillian! I was trying to get he ball, but I ran into you. Heheh…" he said nervously.

"It's okay," laughed Lillian. She smiled and continued to walk, but then Kana realized.

SHE BROUGHT HER HORSE WITH HER

"…horse!" exclaimed Kana. "HOOOORSE!1!1111111"

"Horse…?" Lillian said.

"YES YOU HAVE YOUR HORSE WITH YOU OMG THAT'S TOTALLY AWESOME WHATS ITS NAME WHERE DID YOU GET IT WHAT BREED IS IT IS IT PUREBRED HOW OLD IS IT HAS IT HAD ANY CHILDREN YET CAN I SEE ITS CHILDREN HORSE!"

"Umm…I just got him at the pet shop in Bluebell, the one that Georgia's father runs. His name is Apples and—"

"HOW DARE YOU BUY A HORSE FROM HER FATHERS PLACE GEORGIA IS A JERK DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?!"

"Calm down, Kana. She's very sweet and—"

"GEORGIA DOESN'T EMBRACE THE HORSE LIKE HOW I DO OKAY SHE IS A BETRAYAL TO THE HORSE COMMUNITY AND I AM DISSAPOINT IN HER SHE IS JUST THE ANTIHORSE OF THE HORSE COMMUNITY AND SHE NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED FOR HER SINS AGAINST HORSEOLOGY OKAY JUST DON'T TRUST THIS GIRL DON'T EVER BUY A HORSE FROM HER AGAIN JUST PLEASE PROMISE ME U WONT BUY ONE AGAIN."

"I guess I promi—"

"GOOD WE MUST BLESS YOUR HORSE FROM THE EVIL KNOWN AS GEORGIA COME HERE APPLES!" Kana reached towards the tall brown horse.

"WE MUST DENY THE ANTIHORSE. DENY THE SINS AND DENY THE EVIL WITHIN YOU, DO NOT GIVE INTO THE ANTIHORSE KNOWN AS GEORGIA, FOR IF YOU DO, THE HORSE GOD SHALL SURELY PUNISH YOU. YOU HAVE FOUGHT A LONG BATTLE, AND NOW THE BATTLE IS OVER, FOR YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED BY THE HORSE GOD. REJOICE, MY BROTHER, FOR YOU HAVE BEEN SAVED. AMEN, BROTHER! AMEN!"

"what the fuck is going on" said Reina as she watched from a distance.

"THAT'S ENOUGH HORSE FOR ME TODAY IM GOING TO BED NOW GOODNIGHT MY HORSE LOVERS AND REMEMBER HORSE IS THE KEY TO LOVE AND LIFE AND HAPPINESS." And then Kana went to bed.  
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WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER: CHAPTER TWO: NEIGH NEIGH MOTHERFUCKERS


	2. Chapter Two: NEIGH NEIGH MOTHERFUCKERS

CHAPTER TWO: NEIGH NEIGH MOTHERFUCKERS

"HORSE!" exlcaimed Kana as he woke up. He immediately went to go get some tea at the tea shop place and inside he saw Hiro and Dirk.

"Hey, Kana!" exclaimed Dirk.

"HORSE!" said Kana.

"Sweet Harvest Goddess," hissed Dirk into Hiro's ear, "is he still going through that phase?"

"J-Just go with it, okay?" sighed Hiro.

"Umm…Kana, do you want to go to Bluebell with me today? I have to deliver the newspapers today. It'll be fun!"

"OKAY!" laughed Kana.

The two of them waved goodbye to Hiro and walked outside.

"DUDE SO I HAD THIS AWESOME DREAM AND IT WAS A DREAM ABOUT HORSES OKAY SO I WAS WALKING DOWN KONOHANA VILLAGE RIGHT AND THEN I SAW A MAJESTIC HORSE AND IT WASN'T JUST A HORSE NO IT WAS A UNICORN! SO I SCREAMED 'UNICORN!' AND THEN I RAN TOWARDS THE UNICORN BUT THEN IT VANISHED. :(" said Kana.

"Uh, very interesting, Kana," commented Dirk as he awkwardly looked through the letters. "Let's see here…I have to stop by Ash's to give him a newspaper, and then I gotta stop by Georgia's to gi—"

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO _NO NO NO NO NO NO NO __**NO NO NO NO NO. WE ARE NOT GOING TO STOP BY GEORGIA'S. I REFUSE TO EVEN BE NEAR THAT GIRL. OKAY?"**_

"Calm down, bro. Whaddya got against her, anyways?"

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND SHE IS THE ANTIHORSE—"

"Kana, I don't have the time to sit through your 'horseology' junk so—"

"YOU DARE CALL HORSEOLOGY JUNK YOU MUST BE ONE WITH GEORGIA YOU ARE WITH THE ANTIHORSE!" Kana took out a random horse book from his pocket. "THAT'S RIGHT I HAVE MY HORSE BIBLE WITH ME. BEGONE, ANTIHORSE DEMONS FROM HELL! BEGONE! STAY AWAY FROM THE INNOCENT, FOR YOU MAY NOT PRAY ON THEM NO MO—"

"Look, are we going to deliver the stuff or what?"

"We can still do that, but I have to stand at leaest 10 feet away from Georgia and her house."

"Alright, alright. Let's just get it over with."

The two made their way to Bluebell village and then Dirk walked into Georgia's house. Kana stood outside from a safe distance aways, and waited.

He looked at one of the poor horses stuck at Georgia's. It looked at Kana with a look of desperation, a look of fear, and mostly, a look of sorrow.

He cautiously stepped towards the horse. He knew that this was Antihorse territory, but he prayed silently to the Horse God that He would forgive him, for this was needed in order to save the poor thing.

Carefully Kana hopped over the gate, grabbed a saddle and all that other horse equipment stuff you need for riding a horse out of his pockets, and attatched it to the horse. He then hopped on the horse and started to ride on it. He managed to control it, and then he hopped over the fence while riding on it.

Ash, who was near Cam's flower shop, just noticed this. "KANA WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!" he screamed.

"IM FREEING ANOTHER LOST SOUL FROM THE ANTIHORSE! LOOK INTO THE LIGHT, MY BROTHER, FOR IT IS FREEDOM THAT IS TRYING TO GUIDE YOU FROM THE DARKNESS, FREEDOM THAT IS TRYING TO SAVE YOU!" screamed Kana as he rode the horse into the sunset and tried to get to Konohana.

Dirk and Georgia just came outside.

"Ya'll better come back here with that horse, or I'm gonna make ya pay!" threatened Georgia.

"THE HORSE GOD IS TRULY TESTING US NOW, HUH?!" screamed Kana as he looked back and saw Georgia chasing after him.

He ran around with the horse and eventually his horse got tired and stopped. Georgia and Dirk caught Kana, and Georgia led her horse back home.

As Kana sat in his bed, he couldn't stop worrying. Worrying for that poor horse.

Georgia must pay.


	3. Chapter Three: HAY

CHAPTER THREE: HAY (AS IN WHAT HORSES EAT)

Kana was playing outside with Hiro (except they were playing a manly game to keep their title known as being an adult) when then out of nowhere A SHOOTING STAR WAS SHOOTING IN THE SKY!

"sweet harvest goddess what was that?!" screeched Hiro.

"A SHOOTING STAR!" screamed Kana. He then made a wish. "I WISH UNICORNS WERE REAL!"

"Aren't shooting stars not really stars? Like, they're meteroids or somethin'?" commented Lillian as she suddenly walked towards Kana and Hiro.

"Lillian, were you listening in on our conversation?" questioned Hiro.

"Maaaaaybe~" she giggled.

"HANG ON GUYS IM TRYING TO FOCUS 2 MAKE MY WISH COME TRUE OK SHUT UP EVERY1" said Kana.

He closed his eyes.

And he waited for a second.

"OK IM GOOD ANYWAYS IM GONNA GO WATCH SOME TV!"

"Kana we don't have television here" said Hiro.

"THEN HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN MYYYY BRAND NEW TV?!" Kana dragged Hiro to his house and pointed at the crappy TV.

"SWEET HARVEST GODDESS YOU REALLY DO HAVE A TELEVISION LETS WATCH SOME TV TOGETHER!" exlcaimed Hiro.

"YEEEEEAAAAH!" The two bros high-fived and sat down and watched some anime.

After like 3 hours of watching that gay swimming anime they grew bored and went to bed.

Then Kana had some nightmares.

"hoooooorsessss" whispered a voice in his dream.

"WHOS THERE"

"hoooorsesss…neeeeiiiighhh….clop clop goes my hooves…..as I trot across the ground…this couldve been you and meeeee….but you didn't set me freeeee…"

"WHAT IS GOING ON"

Suddenly the horse Kana tried to rescue from the Antihorse Georgia appeared in his dream!

"HORSE I MISSED YOU!" cried Kana as he ran to hug the horse.

But the horse gave him a sharp glare.

The horse started to sing a sad melody.

"_Clop clop goes my hooves,_

_It feels like something has gone loose,_

_As I trot across the ground,_

_I feel sorrow as my heart pounds,_

_This could've been you and me,_

_But you didn't set me free…."_

KANA JUST REMEMBERED THAT HE HAD TO SAVE THAT POOR HORSE!1!11!11111

"kana do you remember why us horses hate the antihorse and why you hate the antihorse?" asked the horse.

"Why yes…" sighed Kana. "I remember it as if it was yesterday. The Antihorse and her followers…they killed my mother."

"Get revenge….re….venge…"

Kana woke up. Hiro was asleep on Kana's lap but KANA KNEW THIS WAS URGENT HE MUST FREE THE HORSE HE DASHED OUTSIDE AND LOOKED FOR THE HORSE

Of course Hiro woke up. He said, "Kana? What are you doing?"

"IM SORRY HIRO BUT I MUST FREE THE HORSE FROM THE ANTIHORSE BECAUSE MY MOM WAS KILLED BY THE ANTIHORSE!"

"Kana what kind of drugs are you on your mom is perfectly fine ok—"

"No Hiro…my mother…she was killed by the Antihorse…I know what I must do now…"

He took out a random sword from his pockets.

He lifted the sword into the sunlight, and inhaled, ready to let out a battle cry.

"SEID IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JAGER!"  
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what will happen next find out in the next chapter: Chapter Four: ATTACK ON ANTIHORSE


	4. Chapter Four: ATTACK ON ANTIHORSE

special thanks to "person" who suggested i use the line "AAAAAATTTTTTAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK" when kana AAAAAATTTTTTAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKKS u rock bro okay i dont even know u but whoever you are you rock and also to answer your question the term "frickle frackle" means sex  
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CHAPTER FOUR: ATTACK ON ANTIHORSE

"ANTIHORSE YOURR TIME IS UUUUUPP!" screamed Kana as he raised his sword and majestically ran towards Georgia. "KILL ALLL WHO DON'T FOLLOW IN THE HORSE GODS HOOVES! THAT IS THE MESSAGE I GOT IN A DREAM AND I MUST DO IT!"

"kana what the fuck is wrong with you you bitch" commented Cam.

"CAM DON'T QUESTION MEEEEEEEEEEEE IM PERFECTTTTTTTT~" yelled Kana. He held his sword even higher and jumped up. "AAAAAATTTTTTAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKKK!" screamed Kana.

Georgia moved to the left a little and Kana faceplanted onto the ground, his sword knocked out of his hands. It fell onto the ground, too.

"wtf is ur prob dude" said Cam as he quietly arranged his flowers.

"ANTIHORSEEEEAJRPHERPOYJ4YOT4PKRTPIJQ36Y5RET6U85OTYEIJYHHEIOUGjroitgjkegjoreijgs" then kana passed out

kana awake in HIROS Place

"HORS" wailed Kana as he awoke.

"You like passed out while I was walking around." Kana recongized that voice. It was Phillip!

"WHAT ABOUT THE HORSE?" asked Kana.

"性交あなたはは毎回泣いている場合は、このような愚かなクソですかな" muttered Reina under her breath as she mercilessly killed a flower in hiros place.

"why are you here reina gtfo" said Hiro.

"さて性交あなたも、私は私は上司のお尻の雌犬だからたわごとを与えるいけない" said Reina. She then walked outside.

"The horse? Do you mean Georgia's horse? That horse is okay, Kana. You need to rest though."

"BUT HIRRROOOOOOO"

"no buts"

"BUT HIIIIIIIIIRRROOOOOOOOOO"

"nO BUTS"

BuT hIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRoOoOoOoOoOoOoO"

"No BuTs"

"fin"

Kana went to sleep.

The next day he was afraid because the Horse God did not present him with any messages in his dream. Was the Horse God mad at him? Was He upset with him?

Kana pondered for a while about this.

"horsehorsehorseneighneighhorsehorsehorsehorseneigh" he thought out loud.

"KANA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU REALLY THAT OBESSED WITH HORSES" questioned Phillip.

"WHY YES PHILLIP HORSES ARE MAJESTIC AND BEAUTIFUL AND YOU NEED TO APPRECIATE THEM IM GONNA GO DO A TOWN REQUEST THINGY ON THE REQUEST BOARD THINGY."

Kana walked over to the request board thingy and read through the requests.

One was from Lillian and said: "Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset cna be a taotl mses and yuo cna sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the hmuan mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! Fi yuo cna raed tihs maek anohter reuqst wiht htis mesaseg"

One was from Dirk and said: "WARNING DO NOT READ THIS THIS ACTUALLY WORKS ok so there was a girl named Mary and Mary is dead and if you don't copy this request 10 times then Mary will come into your bedroom and kill you this is really scary guys! You have to do this or else you will die!"

"wtf is wrong with these requests im leavin." said Kana.

Then kana went back home and tried to think of a plan to save that horse.

BUT THEN HE REALIZED THE FIRST EVER HORSE CONTEST WAS TOMORROOWOWOOWWOOWOWOWWWW


	5. Chapter Five: SADDLE HORSE CONTEST

IM NOT DEAD PRAISE THE HORSE GOD lol sorry for no update in a while i have something that really sucks that i have to do in real life thats stopping me from updating my fanfic its called HOMEWORK ooo so scaryyyyy but anyways PLZ ENJOY CHAPTER 5  
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CHAPTER FIVE: SADDLE HORSE CONTEST

"horse YEAH MOTHERFUCKERS!" SCREAMED KANA AS HE WOKE UP

"Heyyy Kanaaaaa," said Nori as she walked over towards Kana. "It's the fuken HoRsE conteST 2Day riiiiiiiiiiiiight?"

"FUCK YES IT IS LEMME GET MY FAVORITEST HORSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD."

"byebye kana~" said Nori.

Kana ran back to his farm and went on a horse and then showed the horse to Nori. "THIS IS MR SPARKLEFAIRYSUNSHINELOLLIPOPGOODNESSCANDY BUT I CALL HIM CANDY FOR SHORT"

"lmao thats real idiotic imma leav now bye" said Nori.

"Kanaaaaaaaaaa~!" yelled Lillian. She ran over to Kana. "B-Before you go to the horse contest, I gotta tell you something! Come with me."

"LOL kk lil lil"

"wtf y u callin me Lil Lil"

"idk"

The two made their way up the path to the top of the mountain.

"Kana…" sighed Lillian, "There's something I wanna let you know!"

"WHAT IS IT"

"I'm dating Hiro."

"OKA DATING MY BEST FRIEND OKAY I MEAN HIRO AND I ARE LIKE BROS WE ARE CLOSE MAN AND HE ACCEPTS ME FOR WHO I AM AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO STEAL HIM FROM ME OKAY HE IS MY BFF HE WILL ALWAYS BE MY BFF I MEAN TRUST ME HES NOT GONNA BE SAD IF U BREAK UP WITH HIM OR ANYTHING AND IF HE IS I'LL TELL HIM 'WELL HIRO WHEN SHE MARRIES ANOTHER GUY AND GIVES BIRTH AT LEAST YOULL STILL BE ABLE TO SEE HER NAKED' BUT NOOOO YOU JUST HAD TO DATE HIM OKAY I AM DONE WITH YOU THE HORSE GOD SHALL SURELY PUNI-"

"what does the horse god have to do with anything?"

"I DON'T KNOW I DON'T CARE BUT HE SHALL PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR SIN AGAINST ME THE HORSE GOD FOLLOWER."

The two went back to Konohanaaaaaa and then Kana went and entered his horse in the contest.

"Hiro, my love!" gasped Lillian. "Oh, Hiro! Please cheer me on in this contest!"

"Don't worry! I'll try my best!" laughed Hiro.

Kana wanted to vomit from their lovey doveyness.

When Lillian went up to show off her horse Hiro walked towards Kana and whispered in his ear, "I'm dating Lillian. Do you know what that means?"

"No."

"It means I'm gonna probably marry her and MAKE BABYZ WITH HER! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"

"Horse no. What are you talking about?"

"im gon get laid bro lol"

"EW HIRO U WANNA HAVE SEX AT THIS AGE I THOUGHT U WER THE INNOCENT KID IN TOWN!" screamed Kana very loudly so that everyone heard and kinda stared at him.  
"what?" questioned Phillip.

"KANA GET UR BUTT UP HERE WITH CANDY!" SCREAMED NORI WHOS RUNNING THE HORSE CONTEST!

"kk" said Kana as he dragged his horse with him

"neigh" sighed his horse.

"alright now lemme check ur horse" said nori. "first i gotta check this bitchs legs mmm those legs are skinny as fuck u might wanna take him to a vet, his tail is long too look at that long ass tail I mean u might wanna trim it, I see u put some bows in his mane, looks super kawaii desu, his mane is shiny which I guess is good, I rate ur horse 7 sugoi anime girls out of 10"

"DOES THAT MEAN I WON?" SAID KANA

"actually reina won already Lol" said Nori.

"はいファック。私は「サドル馬コンテスト」を獲得していると私は誇りに思って男をクソだ。アイ·ワナは私が勝つせるための私の相棒ノリに感謝。勝てなかったそこにすべてお前らファッカーズはLMAO吸う。" said Reina.

"reina u fuckin suck" said Kana.

"かなは、あなたをファック！あなたはクソ吸う。雌犬は、それを吸う。" said Reina as she ran back to her house.

Kana went home with hiro, watched some gay swimming anime, and went to sleep. It was a long day.


	6. Chapter Six: HORSE BATTLE

this ones kinda short srry ppl HERES THE NEXT CHAPTER ENJOY  
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CHAPTER SIX: HORSE BATTLE

"fuckin GAY SWIMMING ANIME MAN" said Lillian to Kana as they walked around in the middle of the town, "I just WHY ARE THEIR SHOULDERS SO HUGE?"

"ikr! AND PLUS THERE ARENT ANY HORSES IN IT IM 99% HORSES ARE EXPERT SWIMMERS" sighed Kana.

"kana that's not what Im talking about"

"HORSE"

"Excuse me, you two!" It was Alisa. She ran towards the two of them. "Do you two have time to talk about the great Harvest Godd-"

"SHUT T THE FUCK UP ALISA THERE IS NO HARVEST GODDESS THE TRUE GOD IS THE HORSE GOD OK?"

"what the fuck did u just say about me u little fucking asshole" said a voice

"OH SHIT ITS HARVEST GODDESS U FUCKED UP THIS TIME KANA U REALLY FUCKED UP!" screamed Lillian.

"wtf" said Kana.

"Goodness!" exclaimed Alisa. "I ought to go. Uh, see you two later!" She dashed away.

"well fuk u 2 bitch" muttered Kana.

"LILLIANS FUCKIN RIGHT CUZ U FUCKED UP REAL BAD BRO!" screamed the voice again.

Kana looked around in confusion

"BOOM BITCH!" The Harvest Goddess appeared in front of Kana.

"u r onli an ILLUSON"

"NO IM NOT"

"YES"

"NO"

"LETS BATTLE WITH OUR HORSES THEN! HAYATE I CHOOSE YOU" KANA DRAGGED HIS HORSE HAYATE INTO THE MIDDLE OF KONOHANA VILLAGE

"ALL RIGHT BITCH UNICORN GO" Harvest Goddess dragged a unicorn into the middle of Konohana village

"HAYATE USE FUCKIN STOMP ATTACK" SCREAMED KANA

"HAYATEEEEEE~!" ROARED HAYATE AS IT STOMPED ON THE UNICORN

"UNICORN USE HORN ATTACK!" SCREAMED HARVEST GODDESS

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNICORN!" SCREAMED UNICORN AS IT STABBED HAYATE

"HAYATE!" WAILED HAYATE

"HAYATE IS UNABLE TO BATTLE UNICORN WINS!" screams a random harvest sprite in the background

"FUCK I LOST" cried Kana.

"lol 2 bad 4 uuuuuuuuuuuu bye bye kana" then harvest goddess vanished and went onto twitter and wrote "just pwnd some noob in a random battle lol #horsenoob #stupidathiest #immagodBITCH"

"agkjhfghakhgasgjhsdkgjhsdkjg I cant beliv this horse does this mean that the horse god is not real?" sighed Kana. He then felt angry. "No Kana…you mustn't loose your faith. Your hope. This is all a test, to test your faith."

"kana w hat the Fuck r u TALkin abOut?" said Nori.

"LEAVE ME ALONE HORSE" SCREAMED KANA THEN HE WENT TO BED


	7. Chapter Seven: HORSELIFE

praise the HORSE GODZ IM POSTIN AGAINNNNNNN

homework still sucks and i still have a ton of it

thats right i go to school

i pray every night before i go to bed no one at school except for my best friend finds this fanfic ENJOY NEXT CHAPTER  
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CHAPTER SEVEN: #horselife

"KANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" SCREAMED HIRO AS HE RANDOMLY BROKE INTO KANAS HOUSE

"WHAT HORSE?" QUESTIONED KANA AS HE WOKE UP

"THERES A FUCKIN FIRE AT A BUILDING IN BLUEBELLLLLLL"

"is it in the Antihorse's house?"

"No."

"FUCK I DIDN'T PRAY HARD ENOUGH LAST NIGHT I GUESS MY PRAYERS BACKFIRED AND THEN ANOTHER HOUSE CAUGHT ON FIRE INSTEAD ALKJGALKJGLKJFKLGJGJJDG"

"wat"

"I WANNA SEE THE FIRE HURRRRY"

So Kana and Hiro ran over towards Bluebell village and they saw Laney and Cam standing outside of their home

"ok what the fuck is this im fuckin homeless now what bullshit is this u kno what fuck the world fuk u guyz fuk everythin im out bitches" sighed Cam quietly as he wept over the ruins of his home.

"BUY MAH FOOD GUYZ" said Laney

"AHGHGHHGHGHHG WHO WILL PUT IT OUT?" SCREAMED HIRO

"I got dis" said Phillip. He had lifted up an entire pond and was about to pour all of the water out of it onto the building

"wat" said Kana.

"I LEARNED THIS WATER CARRYING TRICK FROM THE ORACLE WHO GOT A LITTLE HELP FROM SOME DRUNK BLONDE FARMER CHICK ANYWAYS LEMME DO DIS" Phillip poured the water allllllll overrrrrrrrr the house until the fire went out.

"Buy my food because it's delicious!" exclaimed Laney.

"phillip HAV MAH FUKIN BABYZ DATZ AMAZIN!" whispered Cam.

"Cam are you gay?" asked Phillip

"OF FUCKIN COURSE NOT OK JUST BC I FORGOT TO SAY NO HOMO DOESN'T MEAN IM GAY"

"ok then"

"PHILLIP TAKE ME TO THE ORACLE CHICK!" demanded Kana.

Phillip and Kana ran over towards the Oracle's house in the forest.

"imma BOSS ASS BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH BITCH!" sang the oracle as she danced around in some kind of robe

"ORACLE TEACH ME UR WAYZ OF LIFTIN STUFF!" SCREAMED KANA "I MUST DO THIS IN ORDER TO DEFEAT THE ANTIHORSE!"

"ok but first u gotta join my ghetttooooooooooooooo~!" giggled the oracle.

"what the fuck" questioned Phillip.

"LEMME SHOW YALL MAH GHETTTOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THE ORACLE OPENED UP THE DOORS

INSIDE WAS A GIRL PHILLIP AND KANA DIDN'T KNOW!  
"This girl is mah homie LuLu!" giggled the oracle. "Her real name is Luna but we don't like that stupid bs moon name. Oh, and don't call me oracle. Call me Oribaby!"

"hey motherfuckrz" said Luna.

Luna looks like a nine year old.

"wanna join?" asked Oribaby.

"HORSE YAH" screeched Kana

"I'm going to leave now…heheh….bye!" Phillip awkwardly left the three of them.

"allright bitch lemme giv u some lifting power stuff" Oribaby handed Kana some drugs.

"These are drugs," said Kana.

"NO THEYR NOT"

"These are clearly dru—"

"NOPE"

"but"

"NUH UH"

"are you sure that"

"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS! THIS IS PERFECTLY LEGAL KANA! OH WE NEED TO THINK OF A NEW NAME FOR U HOW ABOUT THE KAKASHA?"

"okay"

"herez ur lifting power stuff"

Kana took it and drank it.

The next thing he knew he awoke like 7 hours later

"what the fuck happened HORSE" exclaimed Kana as he looked around. He saw Oribaby and LuLu still awake

"we drugged u lol so we could see if someone whos on drugs will be willing to do stupid shit while theyre drugged lmao" said LuLu.

"WHAT THE ANTIHORSE DID I DO WHILE I WAS DRUGGED?" screamed Kana

"You burned all of your horse books, told Hiro you wanna be his gay lover, stole some bread from Lillian and threw it at Reina and called her a bird, and you let me draw on your face. Happy?" giggled Oribaby.

"wtf our GHETTO RELATIONSHIP IS OVER OK BRO WHY HORSE GOD WHY WOULD YOU LET ME DO THIS" then kana tak nap


	8. Chapter Eight: PARTY AT PHILLIPS PART 1

omhg its the "party at" chapters!11! THIS ONE IS FILLED WITH EPIK DRAMATIK TRAGIK MOMENTZ ENJOY  
-

CHAPTER EIGHT: PARTY AT PHILLIPS PART ONE

"KANA WE ARE INVITED TO A PARTY AT PHILLIPS HOUSE!" SCREAMED HIRO AS HE SHOOK KANA.

"HORSE YEAH!" EXCLAIMED KANA AS HE AWOKE FROM HIS NAP AND SKIPPED WITH HIRO AS THEY WENT TO THE PARTY!

"OMHG IM SO FRICKIN EXCITED LIKE IVE NEVER BEEN INVITED TO ANY PARTIES EVER AND IM GOING TO THIS ONE AND WHO KNOWS MAYBE WE WILL MEET NEW PEOPLE AND IM SO HAPPY AND IT'S A SLEEPOVER PARTY TOO SO WE CAN STAY UP WITH THEM AND WHO KNOWS MAYBE WE CAN WATCH SOME GAY SWIMMING ANIME TOO IM JUST SUPER HAPPY OKKKKKKKKK" said Hiro.

"OF NEIGHING COURSE IM HAPPY TOO BUDDY LETS BREAK IN!" KANA AND HIRO HAD ARRIVED AND BROKE INTO PHILLIPS HOUSE.

"I HAVE ARRIVED" SAID KANA

"akjrgkfjlkdjgkadjglk jkj awwwww yEZZ KANA AND HIRO ARE HERE I WAS JUST SITTING HERE QUESTIONING CAMS SEXUALITY WANNA JOIN ME?" ASKED PHILLIP

"im not fuckin gay u guyz ok im just a lil flowr boy SO WAT flowrs dont mak me gay :(" said Cam as he looked out the window sadly.

"u might be gay bro" said Ash as he patted his friend's back.

"Cam, you know being gay is not allowed in the Harvest Moon games!" scolded Alisa, "After all, Natsume hasn't allowed a single game with same-sex marriage in it!"

"you are all super homophobic" said Dirk.

"Cam you are gay as fuck" said Reina.

"lmao ^^^^^^this" said the Oracle.

"BUY MAH FOOD" SAID LANEY

"SuP BITchEZ its mE FUCK n NoRi in DA hoUsEEEEE" said Nori as she bursted into the house.

"Hello everyone. I love nature." Kana turned around to see who else was coming in because he had never heard that voice before and who the fuck declares their love for nature when they enter someone's house.

"HEYYY NORI AND MIKHAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL" said Phillip.

"I love nature! ^_^" said Mikhail.

"shit hiro look at that," hissed Kana to Hiro, "That new guy over there seems to have a strong love for nature. What if he loves nature more than I love horses…?"

"Kana I'm 109% sure you ar—"

"NO HIRO I THINK HE MIGHT BE MORE OBESSSEDDDDDDD"

"SHUT UP KANA WE ARE WAITING QUIETLY FOR TWO MORE PEOPLE TO COME IN! B PAITENT" muttered Phillip.

"Who are we waiting for?" asked Hiro.

"Lillian and Georgia."

"WHAT OMHG (note when I say omhg that does NOT stand for oh my harvest goddess its actually for oh my horse god) NO NOT THE ANTIHORSEEEEEEE" WAILED KANA

"SWEET HARVEST GODDESS LILLIAN IS COMING? YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

"Hirooooooooo my loveeeeeeee" cried a voice outside Phillip's house.

"Lilliannnnn my loveeeeeeeeeeee~!" laughed Hiro as he ran outside to hug his stupid girlfriend.

"Hiro I got something to tell you…" she sighed.

"Wh…What is it?"

"I'm…preggers."

Everyone inside heard Lillian and gasped

"outRAGEOUS HIROS GETTING LAID?" grumbled Nori.

"You're preggers?" said Hiro "THAT CANT BE"

"well I got a baby in my vag WANNA SEE THE PICS" Lillian handed him some scans of her baby.

"SHIIIIIIIIIT SHES NOT JOKING GUYS" Hiro and Lillian went inside as Hiro nervously examined the papers. They shut the door and everyone crowded around Hiro to peek at the pictures.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiceee dude," laughed Dirk as he elbowed Hiro, "You've certainly been getting around, huh?"

"YOURE NOT FRIG GIN H EL PINGGGGGGGGGG" ROARED HIRO "IM GOING TO BE A DAD AND I DON'T WANT TO BE ONEEE"

"its ur baby, I aint gonna take care of no baby," snapped Lillian.

"DIS DRAMAS JUICYYYY" screeched Phillip

"Phillip that's your sister" said Ash.

"**JUICY**" SCREECHED PHILLIP

"immA FUK THAT HAWT BITCH OUTSIDE" said the Oracle

"that's not a hot bitch that's georgia" said Phillip

"THE ANTIHORSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GUESS WHAT ANTIHORSE?" SCREAMED KANA

"What is it now, Kana?" sighed Georiga as she walked inside and shut the door.

"Imma SEID IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JAGER!"  
-

thats right kanas gonna try to attack the antihorse again! STAY TUNED 4 NEXT CHAPTER


	9. Chapter Nine: PARTY AT PHILLIPS PART 2

HORSE YEAH IM BACK POSTING AGAIN I GOT VACATION THATS RIGHT NO MORE STUPID HOMEWORK FOR A WHILE SO THAT MEANS I CAN POST A LOT! ENJOY  
-

CHAPTER NINE: PARTY AT PHILLIPS HOUSE PART TWO

"bring it on BITCH!" SCREAMED GEORGIA AS KANA RAISED HIS SWORD HE RANDOMLY GOT FROM ONE OF HIS POCKETS

"lmao dis is g8 yo imma post dis on fb" said the Oracle as she went onto her phone and posted about the fight on facebook.

"ANTIHORSE!" SCREAMED KANA, "THIS IS YOUR LAST THAT THAT YOU SHALL TORTURE ANYONE! WATCH AS I EVOLVE INTO MY FINAL HORSE FORM! HYAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGGHGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGGHHG!"

kana IS EVOLVING

THERE IS A BRIGHT LIGHT SURROUNDING KANA AS HE SCREAMS GEORGIA SAYS "wtf" AS HE EVOLVES!  
then the bright light went away and kana looked the same.

"Huh? What was the point of that?" asked Dirk.

"it HELPED ME GAIN THE POWERS OF THE HORSE GOD! BOOM HORSE POWERS!" SCREECHED KANA AS HE POINTED A HAND AT GEORGIA AND TRIED TO MAKE POWERS COME OUT OF HIS HAND BUT IT DIDN'T WORK.

"fuk" he hissed under his breath. Kana glanced around nervously for a weapon to fight the Antihorse with.

"ahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH!" LAUGHED KANA LIKE ONE OF THOSE SCARY ANIME GIRLS IN HORROR ANIME! "YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY HORSE FORM NOW DO YOU ANTIHORSE?"

"kana pls no" said Hiro.

"IN ORDER FOR ME TO EVOLVE INTO MY HORSE FORM I MUST SING THE ENTIRE OPENING OF THAT FUCKING TITAN ANIME. LETS DO DIS!" ROARED KANA

sry no lyrics bc I don't want the admins of this website 2 kill me 4 copyright reasons :.(

THEN KANA WAS DONE SINGING THE LYRICS FROM THE OPENING OF THAT FUCKING TITAN ANIME!

"now IMA GO INTO HORSE FORM!" said kana but it didn't work

"FUCK" KANA RACE AROUND THE ROOM TRYING TO THINK OF PLAN

"Look, Kana. Can we be peacefull for once? How about we decide to put our differences aside tonight, and have fun, okay?" sighed Georgia.

"FINe…" muttered Kana.

Everyone went back to partying!  
"BUY MY FOODDDDDD" BEGGED LANEY.

"Isn't nature just simply wonderful?" said Mikhail to Lillian and Reina. "The foxes playing in the sunlight, the soft sound of a tree's branches as its leaves rustle in the day, it's just simply marvelous! ^o^"

"LMAO IKR!" said the Oracle.

"kana, that nature dude is talking to lillian. A lot. Is he trying to steal my girl?" asked Hiro.

"I don't think so, Hiro. After all, he's only talking about some stupid nature shit. You can't seduce a girl when you're talking about nature shit, you gotta talk about horses, man!" replied Kana.

"ok" said Hiro.

"GUESS WHAT I GOT?" SCREAMED PHILLIP

"A GIRLFRIEND?" SAID THE ORACLE

"a big pee pee I MEAN SOME FLOWERS?" said Cam.

"NOPE I GOT THE ENTIRE SEASON OF THAT GAY SWIMMING ANIME!" SCREAMED PHILLIP.

"HORSE YEAH!" SAID KANA "LETS HAVE A GAY SWIMMING ANIME MARATHON!"

"fukin GAY SWIMMING ANIMEEEEE I LOVE THAT SHOW MY FAV CHARACTER IS THE GUY THAT'S SHIRTLESS!" SAID LILLIAN

"MY FAV CHARACTER IS ACTUALLY THE GUY THAT HAS THE BIG ASS SHOULDERS!" SAID NORI

"MY FAV CHARACTER IS THE GUY THAT LOOKS LIKE A 12 YEAR OLD!" SAID GEORGIA

"MY FAV CHARACTER IS THE GUY THAT'S HALF NAKED ALL THE TIME" SAID CAM "FUCK I MEAN I don't have a fav character, ok? I hate that show! Like who cares about a swimming show with a ton of shirtless guys in it? Only little girls watch that boring ass shit!"

"riiiiiiiight" said Dirk.

"GAY SWIMM IN E" EXCLAIMED KANA AS HE POPPED THE DVD INTO THE TV

EVERYONE CROWDED AROUND THE TV TO WATCH IT

"HELLO MY NAME IS SHIRTLESS CHAN AND YOURE WATCHING GAY SWIMMING ANIME" said Shirtless chan.

Shirtless chan went to bed and then he woke up.

"Shirtless channnnn!" cried a voice. It was Big Ass Shoulder kun!

"what the fuk do u want big ass shoulder kun?" asked shirtless chan

"WE'RE GONNA B LATE 4 ANIME SCHOOLLLLLLLLL" SCREAMED BIG ASS SHOULDER KUN

"fuk NOT ANIME SCHOOL" THEY GOT READY 4 SCHOOL AND THEN SHIRTLESS CHAN TOOK OFF HIS SHIRT AND RAN TO SCHOOL WITH BIG ASS SHOULDER KUN

"12 year old senpai was waiting for us!" cried big ass shoulder kun

"HEYYyYyYyYyYyYYYyyyyyyyyy~!" laughed 12 year old senpai "my voice is FUCKEN ANNOYING AS FUCK GUYS DID YOU KNO?"

"we are late 4 skool nu :(" said shirtless chan

"THE END OF EPISODE ONEEEEE" said big ass shoulder kun.

"BEST ANIME EVER 10/10" SAID LILLIAN

"NOW THIS IS THE PART WHERE WE ALL GET DRUNK!" SCREAMED PHILLIP THEN HE HANDED OUT THE BOTTLES OF WINE

"but phillip" said Mikhail "Im allergic 2 wine (''^.^)"

"FUCK" said Phillip  
-

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT? FIND OUT NEXT TIME!


	10. Chapter Ten: PARTY AT PHILLIPS PART 3

HORSE YEAH ITS THE LAST CHAPTER SORRY I MEANT TO UPLOAD THIS EARLIER HOPE U LIKE IIIIIITTTTTT  
-

CHAPTER TEN: PARTY AT PHILLIPS PART THREE

"lets get sum WINE!" SCREAMED THE ORACLE AS SHE CHUGGED AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF WINE

"gimme gimme gimmeeee!" demanded Lillian as she reached over and took the bottle of wine. She drank it all.

"YO as I doctor and your boyfriend I don't think you should be drinking tha—" said Hiro but Lillian cut him off.

"SHUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUCK UUUUUUP HIRO IM STRONG AND INDEPENDENT I CAN DO WHAT I WANT YOU MALE SHALL NOT OPRESS ME" screeched Lillian

"what the fuck lillian"

"u better run hiro shes become the ultimate BAD GIRLFRIEND!" SCREAMED PHILLIP

"WHATWHATWHATWAAHT" SAID GEORGIA

"THIS IS SOMETHING MY SISTER NORMALLY DOES WHEN SHE IS REALLY DRUNK OK"

but it was too late bc she started to run around and scream "HIROS FUCK EEN MEEEEEANNNNNNN"

"I wannna drink nowwwwww boi" said Nori. She got the bottle and drank some too.

Soon enough everyone drank at least a little bit of wine except for Kana.

"I pray to the Horse God that I do not destroy any horse related things I own, and that I do not harm a single horse while I'm drunk as fuck," said Kana.

"omfhg JUST DRINK SOME OK!" exclaimed Nori as she aggresively forced the bottle into his hand. Kana glared at her and drank the rest of the bottle.

"horsehorserhorserhorsehorserhorsehorse HORSE HORSE HORS EEE" SAID KANA AS HE BECAME DRUNK THEN HE PASSED OUT

It was pink and misty everywhere as Kana woke up. "Wha…where…am I?"

"_Kana…" _A soft voice echoed throughout the misty area.

"Who…who is it?"

"_It is I, Kana. The Horse God. The one you prayed to so many times when you were in desperate situations."_

"HORSE GOD!" SCREAMED KANA. He bowed down. "Am…am I dead?"

"_Kana, indeed, you have passed on. But a loyal subject like you deserves…a second chance in life…"_

"R U TELLING ME YOURE GONNA LET ME COME BACK TO LIFE?" exclaimed Kana.

"_Indeed." _Suddenly, a majestic as fuck unicorn pegasus horse appeared from the clouds. He used His unicorn horn to touch Kana's head, and then Kana woke up.

"I AM ALIVE HORSE" said Kana

"KANA WHAT THE FUCK YOU JUST BURNT HALF OF THE CHICKEN FEED WHILE SCREAMING 'BEGONE ANTIHORSE' AND THEN YOU PASSED OUT OKAYY" said Laney.

"laney y the fuck do u care about stuff all of a sudden?" questioned Reina.

"guys GUYS guess what?" shouted Cam "im gayyyy as fuuuuuuck!"

"I KNEW IT" SHOUTED DIRK.

"wtfFFFFFFFFF IM GON GET OUT THE FRUIT PUNCH!" SAID LILLIAN

"OHAYOOOOOO~!" laughed Mikhail, "Reina-Chan, isn't the sky just looovellly? Just as lovely as the foxes playing outside ^_^ and your butt"

"Ok fuck the fucking americans I wanna go back to fucking japan" said Reina.

"omhg MIKHAIL AND REINA ARE EXACTLY THE SAME EVEN WHEN THEYRE DRUNK!" GASPED KANA AS HE MADE THIS REALIZATION

"Kana-kun, you are in love with horses, maybe even more in love than I am with my nature friends!" growled Mikhail, "So don't talk to me!"

"how the fuk dos THAT Mak sens?" asked Nori

"FUKIN FRUIT PUNCHHHH" SCREECHED LILLIAN AS SHE POURED IT ONTO LANEY BY ACCIDENT

"BITCH U CALLIN ME FRUIT PUNCH?" SAID LANEY

"NOOOOOO" SAID LILLIAN

"I REFUS TO BE CALLD FRUIT PUNCH GIRL IZ ON BITCH" THEN LANEY AND LILLIAN STARTED TO FIGHT!1

"BITCH IM NOT CALLIN U A FRUIT PUNCH OK LEMME GIVE THEM THE FRUIT PUNCH!" SCREAMED LILLIAN

"ILL SHOW YOU A FRUIT PUNCH!" THEN LANEY TRIED TO PUNCH LILLIAN BUT SHE WAS DRUNK AS FUCK SO SHE PUNCHED A WINDOW AND HER HAND WENT NUMB

"Mikhail…" muttered Kana, "How do you know you have a bigger passion for nature than I have a passion for horses?"

"I never said I did know, I sai—"

"DO NOT EVER QUESTION MY LOVE FOR HORSES I HAVE MORE LOVE FOR HORSESE THEN ALCOHOLICS DO FOR ALCOHOL OK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU ARE NOT EVEN ON MY LEVEL FOR LOVE FOR ANYTHING! I JUST DON'T GET IT WHEN CRAZY ASS BITCHES LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO COME UP HERE LIKE YOURE THE HORSE GOD HIMSELF AND YOU DECLARE YOUR LOVE FOR NATURE LIKE ITS SOME COOL THING TO DO? EXCUSE ME I DON'T APPRECIATE IT I JUST DON'T GET WHY YOU ARE GOING TO DECLARE SUCH AN UNREASONABLE THING LETS HAVE A BATTLE OKAY? OKAY!" bellowed Kana.

sudden CRASH GEORGIA BRAK THRO WALL

"I CANT TAKE YOUR BULLSHIT ANYMORE KANA!" SHE ROARED, "IM FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR (NO PUN INTENDED) HORSE SHIT THAT YOU PREACH ON AND ON ABOUT ITS SO FUCKING STUPID EVEN THOUGH I TOLD YOU TO BE PEACEFUL LETS END IT HERE ONCE! AND! FOR! ALLLLLLLLLLL!"

"FINE I CAN DO THIS AGAIN ONCE AGAIN IMMA SEID IHR DAS ESSEN NEIN WIR SIND DER JAGER!" KANA EVOLVES INTO FINAL HORSE FORM WHICH CAUSES HIM TO LOOK THE SAME BUT HAVE HORSE GOD POWERS!

"HA!" LAUGHED GEORGIA! "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! YOUR HORSE GOD POWERS ARE NOTHING TO MY ANTIHORSE POWERS! REGAJ RED DNIS RIW NIEN NESSE SAD RHI DIES!" THEN GEORGIA EVOLVES INTO FINAL ANTIHORSE FORM WHICH CAUSES HER TO LOOK THE SAME BUT HAVE ANTIHORSE POWERS!

"IM GONNA JOIN IN TOO BECAUSE IM TIRED OF KANA TOO, GEORGIA!" SCREAMED MIKHAIL! "I HAVE NATURE POWERS OF THE ANIMALS! KAWAII KAWAII KAWAII DESU NEKOOOOOOOOOOOO!" THEN MIKHAIL GAINED NEKO POWERS! WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT IS

"HORSE GOD ATTACK GOOOO!" KANA CHARGED AT GEORGIA AND TOOK AWAY 777 HEALTH POINTS!

"ANTIHORSE ATTACK GOOO!" GEORGIA STABBED KANA WITH AN INVISABLE SWORD AND TOOK AWAY 666 HEALTH POINTS!

"NEKO ATTACK GOOO~! KYAAA!" MIKHAIL SWIPED A HAND AT KANA AND TOOK AWAY 111 HEALTH POINTS!

"LOOKS LIKE WE ARE TIED, ANTIHORSE!" HISSED KANA UNDER HIS BREATH. "THE ANTIHORSE SHALL NEVER WIN. THE ANTIHORSE SHALL ALWAYS—"

"SHUUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUUCK UUUUUUUUUP!" SUDDENLY THE HARVEST GODDESS APPEAR!

EVERYONE GASPED!

"I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR STUPID HORSEOLOGY SHIT OKAY? JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP, THE HORSE GOD ISNT REAL, IM REAL, WHY DON'T YOU THREE JUST STILL KEEP IT PEACEFUL? LOOK, I GOTTA WATCH OVER YOU GUYS BECAUSE YOURE ALL DRUNK AS FUCK AND IM GONNA FEEL GUILTY IF I INSTEAD GO GET THE SLEEP I NEED AND ONE OF YOU GUYS END UP DYING OR SOMETHING WHILE IM ASLEEP SO I GOTTA WATCH OVER YOU GUYS. AND IF I WATCH OVER YOU GUYS AND ALL YOURE DOING IS SAYING STUPID SHIT THEN IM GONNA GET REAAALLLY PISSED OFF HERE!" ROARED THE HARVEST GODDESS

"Gomenasi, Harvest Goddess! (''^.^)" said Mikhail.

"Erhm…sorry…" said Georgia.

"IM NOT GONNA STOP UNTIL THE ANTIHORSE IS GONE!" SCREAMED KANA!

"IF YOU DON'T STOP YOUR ANTIHORSE STUFF FOR AT LEAST TONIGHT I WILL RELEASE ALL OF YOUR PRECIOUS HORSES INTO THE WILD WHERE YOU WILL NEVER FIND THEM AGAIN. INCLUDING HAYATE!" THREATENED THE HARVEST GODDESS.

"H-Hayate?" whimpered Kana. _No! That bitch must know she's my only weakness._

_Wait a second!_

_Is Harvest Goddess the true Antihorse?_

_Maybe she was the Antihorse all along…_

But be4 kana could do anything harvest goddess vanish

"FRICK" said Kana

"SPEAKING OF FRICK LETS ALL FRICKLE FRACKLE!" SCREAMED ALISA

"NU IM GONNA GO OUTSIDE I ALREADY HAV A BABI K THX BAI" said lillian

THEN EVERYONE ELSE FRICKEL FRACKLE WITHOUT LILLIAN!

"frick" said Laney after they did it. "im probably gonna be preggers now. Just like lillian…"

"WE ALL GON B PREGGERS! PREGGERS CLUB!" YELLED ALISA!

ALL THE GIRLS HIGH FIVED!

THEN KANA WALK OUTSIDE AND SEE HAYATE WAITING FOR HIM!

HE HOPS ONTO HAYATE AND THE TWO RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET AS KANA SCREAM "HORSEEEEE" THE END


End file.
